Mother's Day

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the mamas out there reading this!

I'm not sure I expected this, but I had a lot of conflicting and complicated feelings about Mother's Day. When Cooper was still in the hospital, I would quickly turn off the radio or TV whenever a Mother's Day commercial came on. It felt wrong to be celebrating when I felt that I wasn't truly "mothering" yet. There were nurses attending to my child's needs, and I felt like just a visitor. It made me upset and even tearful whenever I was reminded of the impending day, so I avoided thinking about it.

But then he was home, so there was no reason to feel weird about it, right? You'd think so, but it still just felt wrong to have people wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Maybe I haven't truly internalized my new role yet? Is it because I feel insecure about my fledgling parenting skills? Perhaps it's because I see my mom and mother-in-law as the true moms, and since they are still here (and I run to them with a million questions a day!) I don't feel like the *real* mom in the house. I honestly don't know. Feelings are weird. But to everyone who did take the time to wish me a happy day, I do truly appreciate it. 

Anyway, the boys got us flowers and we celebrated with Noodles and Co (Kathy's fave, don't judge!) and Red Iguana. 

Cooper has his good eating days and some not as great eating days. On Sunday night he pulled out his feeding tube, and the doctor told us that as long as he's averaging more than a certain amount per feed, we can leave it out. 36 hours later and we're still going strong! He's having another weigh-in on Thursday so we'll see what the scale says. I swear that I can see him growing before my eyes, but that could be wishful thinking. 😜

Other than that, he's just been chillin', going for walks in his stroller, trying on outfits, peeing on people/furniture/electronics/himself, and soaking up time with his grandparents before they head back to the East Coast.