One month!

Yesterday we celebrated one month of Cooper! 

We are so incredibly proud of how far this little fighter has come! Since he ripped out his feeding tube, he’s been trying to prove to us that he doesn’t need it. He’s been eating like an absolute beast the past couple of days, and we hope that his weight check on Thursday will demonstrate that.

Mat’s parents headed back to Boston early this morning, so we took advantage of our last day together to take family pictures. Cooper is so lucky to have four amazing grandparents who absolutely adore him. 🥰

Seeing our parents interact with Cooper has been just incredible. I can’t even communicate how my heart melts when I witness just how much they all love him. I am so glad we could give them this gift. 

We are all beyond enamored with this little guy and all of his silly faces and poses.

Eeeeeeeeeh-xcellent.

Finally, we got a little silly and decided to recreate some of our own baby pictures.

Mother's Day

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the mamas out there reading this!

I'm not sure I expected this, but I had a lot of conflicting and complicated feelings about Mother's Day. When Cooper was still in the hospital, I would quickly turn off the radio or TV whenever a Mother's Day commercial came on. It felt wrong to be celebrating when I felt that I wasn't truly "mothering" yet. There were nurses attending to my child's needs, and I felt like just a visitor. It made me upset and even tearful whenever I was reminded of the impending day, so I avoided thinking about it.

But then he was home, so there was no reason to feel weird about it, right? You'd think so, but it still just felt wrong to have people wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Maybe I haven't truly internalized my new role yet? Is it because I feel insecure about my fledgling parenting skills? Perhaps it's because I see my mom and mother-in-law as the true moms, and since they are still here (and I run to them with a million questions a day!) I don't feel like the *real* mom in the house. I honestly don't know. Feelings are weird. But to everyone who did take the time to wish me a happy day, I do truly appreciate it. 

Anyway, the boys got us flowers and we celebrated with Noodles and Co (Kathy's fave, don't judge!) and Red Iguana. 

Cooper has his good eating days and some not as great eating days. On Sunday night he pulled out his feeding tube, and the doctor told us that as long as he's averaging more than a certain amount per feed, we can leave it out. 36 hours later and we're still going strong! He's having another weigh-in on Thursday so we'll see what the scale says. I swear that I can see him growing before my eyes, but that could be wishful thinking. 😜

Other than that, he's just been chillin', going for walks in his stroller, trying on outfits, peeing on people/furniture/electronics/himself, and soaking up time with his grandparents before they head back to the East Coast.

Cooper’s tree!

Yesterday, Grandpa Bret had the brilliant idea that we should plant a baby tree in the backyard to grow up with Cooper! Of course we don’t know what life will throw at us or how long we’ll be in this house, but it will be fun to see them grow up together. Maybe someday we’ll have to sneak back onto the property if it’s not still ours and take pictures of adult Cooper and a fully grown tree. Anyway, here’s what it looks like now.

Things continue to be pretty good on the home front, as we get to know our little guy and learn how to be parents. We have a couple of pain points that we’re working on around eating and sleeping. He’s had a couple of days of lower oral intake, so we’d absolutely love for him to pick that up. I think he would and we would love for him to be rid of the feeding tube! In terms of sleeping, it would be just groovy if he could sleep at appropriate times (like nighttime) and in appropriate places (like his bassinet). He seems to only want to sleep in someone’s arms or in his Boppy or swing. The bassinet or crib do not seem to please him. Sorry, bud, that’s what the AAP recommends!

In other news, last night we completed the quartet of grandparents as my dad made his way here finally! 

We continue to have lots of fun with this little nugget - taking selfies, reenacting scenes from The Lion King, and showing off a silly onesie from Uncle Jason!

 

Chonkytown!

Are you guys ready for this? Today Cooper tipped the scale at  6 lbs 4 oz!!! We have really watched this guy blossom and thrive in the 6 days he’s been home, and it’s incredible!

Today was just a plain enjoyable day. Coop was awake and interactive much of the afternoon and evening, so we took the time to read to him, bring him outside in the yard, FaceTime/Zoom with friends and fam, and just soak him up. 

His nursing skillz are coming along really nicely, and since we’re just counting that as bonus on top of his meals, I think it’s helping a ton with his weight gain. Next week we will work with our pediatrician to figure out an update to his feeding plan. 

I know every day won’t be sunshine and rainbows, but hopefully on the less awesome days I can think back about a day like today and remember that it’s worth it!

Loving Life!

Cooper is still doing great and loving life at home. He is generally pretty happy, except when he is getting his diaper changed, when we’re fiddling with his tube, or between the hours of about 3 am - 6 am when he turns into a screaming, raging maniac. *sigh*

We’re doing lots of fun new things. We’ve been introducing more tummy time, which he actually seems to enjoy!

He’s digging his swing, too.

Today he took his first short walk around the neighborhood in his stroller!

As always, he’s bonding with Mom & Dad via skin to skin and clothed snuggle time.

He is already a master of shooting dirty looks.

And medically, we’re getting into the swing of outpatient appointments. We have a home health nurse who is coming to the house once or twice a week to check up on Coop and make sure we’re getting everything right with his feeding tube. 

We’re talking to and/or visiting the pediatrician every 5 days to make sure he’s gaining weight and talking about adjustments to his feeding plan. We’ll get another weight on him tomorrow and we’re hopeful he’ll have smashed that 6 lb mark! 

We have an evaluation set up with the Early Intervention folks for May 17th. Because of his prematurity and time in the NICU, he was automatically referred, as he is at a higher risk for developmental delays. While we haven’t noticed anything specific that is concerning (not that newborns even do that much!), it’s clearly in his best interest to have him evaluated and potentially start any needed services early on.

He’s currently taking about 75% of his food by mouth, and he’s also making great strides in breastfeeding. We found that he really excels when we’re both lying down in bed, so much so that he doesn’t even need the nipple shield! He’s been breastfeeding anywhere from 10 to 25 total minutes a day, which is fantastic progress for the little man.

It’s hard work bein’ this cute!!!

And I’ll leave you with this picture that positively melted my heart - it’s three generations of Willmott boys! ❤

Happy Due Date!

May 4th was Cooper’s original due date! While I think we all might have preferred that he’d waited until today and made a less dramatic and chaotic entrance, that just wasn’t Coop’s story. 

Well, we had some fun firsts today! We gave Cooper his first real bath! He did not love it.

We also had story time in his very own room for the first time.

His feeding tube dislodged itself (or he got to it) and we had to pull it. We were able to leave it out for a few hours before we had to replace it though, which was lovely. I can’t wait until he’s done with it - because it just complicates everything. He loves to have his hands up by his face to explore, but in an attempt to keep him from pulling it out, we have to keep his hands swaddled in, or covered with socks.

Truth time: I was not confident in my capability to be a good mother. I’ll be the first to admit that I had a whole boatload of reservations about bringing a child into the world. But ultimately I agreed to do this because I knew that even if I was the world’s worst mom, he would have other amazing people around him who would make up for it. I’ve never once doubted that Mat would be a spectacular dad, and all of our parents would be loving, doting, involved grandparents. I knew I’d have incredible support, and my child would be loved and cared for even if I wasn’t the one doing it. I’m relieved that I do feel a strong maternal bond to Cooper, and I’m working to be the best mom I know how to be, but boy was I right about my support system!

Anyway, happy due date, Cooper Scooper! Look how far you’ve come in just 3 and a half weeks. We love you to the moon and back and we are in awe of the sheer strength and bravery that you’ve demonstrated already in your short time on earth. 💗

Witch’s brew

Last night was a better night. He still didn’t sleep a lot, but nothing exploded and we’ve now gone a full day without any serious feeding tube incidents! Getting more into the swing of the feeding, preparing, and cleaning. Today while doing a round of sterilizing, I felt like a witch stirring my pot of baby bottle and breast pump parts, maybe with a little eye of newt for good measure! 😜

Cooper had his first excursion today; his first check-in with our pediatrician. We love our pediatrician - she was calling and texting and checking in on us throughout Coop’s hospitalization. We spent over an hour today going through his (brief but eventful) history and talking about short and long term goals and outcomes. 

His weight and oral intake are the main focus right now. We’ll be going in for weight checks every 5 days for a while to make sure he stays on track. He has gained a little bit of weight since his discharge and is soooo close to 6 lbs! Hopefully by the time we go in on Friday he’ll have rocketed past that mark. And maybe the “newborn” sized clothes will start fitting him soon!

Grandma Kathy made us a delicious home-cooked meal tonight. It’s been a hot minute since we’ve had time and opportunity to get some hot and fresh home cooking, and it was glorious! Grandma Donna found a Raffi playlist and serenaded Cooper with classics such as “Baby Beluga” and “Apples and Bananas”. Grandpa Bret showed Coop some videos from his performing days - he seemed very impressed! 

We are all enjoying some great moments getting to know this little guy as he gets stronger and cuter every day. We’re trying to fit in skin-to-skin time and tummy time as we can. One thing is for sure - he is being positively drowned with constant love and adoration to make up for his rough start!